Three legged Cat

Three nights ago we were filling my wife's van up with gas,....$2.19 per gallon. I was pumping gas when my wife comes around the corner with tears in her eyes asking if I had seen the poor three legged cat that was looking for food. She pointed me in the direction of a ditch into which the cat had darted. I went over caught a glimpse and it shot like a rocket across the ditch to a business adjacent to the gas station. I started down the steep slope to cross over the ditch to where ole tripod was,....and he dashed even further away toward a car dealer that was next to the business, that was next to the gas station. I still had compassion on the poor creature, thinking of my two cats, fat and sassy, probably picking their teeth in a lounge chair in front of the TV,...so I decided to break into their new bag of food I had just purchased and share the wealth with ole prong. As much as I could make of him/her(?)was it was a calico missing its right hind leg below the thigh. It didn't slow him down much. I grabbed two large handfuls of "IAMS for indoor cats"(hope it's not poison to an outdoor cat)out of the new 10 lb bag and started down the steep slope to place the food on a concrete sidewalk in front of the business next door to the station. It was steep, as I mentioned, but I made it across without much trouble,....mostly applying the breaks as I went down, but letting off enough to have enough speed to coast up the other side of the ditch to the sidewalk. A little awkward, but no problems, no dry cat food losses on my journey. I placed the food in a neat pile on the corner and looked toward the used car dealer, where I had last seen ole stump, but saw no sign of her/him. I looked at the pile of food and thought it didn't look like much. I wanted to get more, but needed to check on my gas pump,...it had probably kicked off because it was full. So I made it down the other side of the ditch, headed back, toward the steeper side, but I didn't have enough speed, so halfway up the steep side of the ditch, I stalled and began to notice that it was a little slick and muddy and I didn't want to put my hands down(though they had just been holding cat food). I started to lose my balance, but thought I could recover without putting my hands down. I felt my face flushed red with the realization that I could possibly be falling when my foot slipped out of the clogs I was wearing and began turning over, further throwing off my balance. There was a black guy sitting by the pay phone at the edge of the gas station lot in a beat up pinto watching the whole charade,...and I'm praying that it's not Alan Funt in disguise with his video camera. It was like everything was in slow motion, like in the action movies like The Matrix when the director wants us to see every blow of the fight. My arms were flailing trying to assist me in regaining my balance to make it the rest of the way up the steep side of the ditch without putting my hands down in the semi mud(in hind sight, I don't really know why keeping sanitary hands was such an uncompromisable position). Well, it seemed like 5 minutes, but was probably more like a split second, but I finally gained some footing and made a couple of steps forward and one more back and then the rest of the way up the steep slope and without getting my hands muddy. I had escaped a fall and injury,.....or so I thought. The next day, my back had a slight twinge of pain,...two days later it was more severe, three days later it was difficult to get out of bed without shouting expletives,....but I did(without shouting expletives). So, I took three ibuprofen(a miracle drug in my opinion) and the pain subsided greatly. I love Advil! So much so that I'm searching for an Advil t-shirt or baseball cap, bumper sticker, to proudly sport as this drugs biggest fan. I hope ole Hop-a-long enjoyed his lite snack,...I will probably look him up the next time I buy gas there, but I will definitley stay on this side of the ditch.