Baby's Gone
Conway Twitty sang a song about signs which indicated that his relationship with his wife or girlfriend was over called Baby's Gone(certainly there have been other similar themed songs in the country genre, but this is the standard by which all other Baby's Gone knock-offs are measured) I can't help but recall those words when I look at our 7th grade son and see signs of him maturing. Baby's Gone. In my thoughts those words don't express the same sentiment that Conway sang in front of a backdrop of crying steel guitar(my relationship with Holden is evolving but I think it's still in tact), but they just seem to fit as I see our 13 year old baby growing up and gettin gone. And there's not a damn thing I can do about it. Oh, this is no surprise to me(I'm not in TOTAL denial of reality) since I have regularly seen him reaching milestones in his life. But the reason it's such a fresh topic with me is that Holden just came upon another milestone on Friday. Probably not a major one(somehow they all seem major), but certainly another indicator that Baby's Gone. Holden had a friend over and they spent most of Friday evening and the next day talking to girls on AIM!!!!, an instant messaging center for AOL(hope it's not costing me anything, I'm not an AOL guy). In addition to that change is a bi-product annoyance: Where once I had a peaceful reign over our computer,...now, just since Friday, I have been demanded, begged and bribed off the computer just so he can see who's online. Peace has turned into a scheduling nightmare for time on the computer. I can see a second one in our near future. But this was just like every other milestone in his life. A flip of the switch. One day he's wearing diapers, the next he's potty trained. One day the training wheels on his little bike were rattling, the next they're off he was pulling away from my hand under his own power and control on two wheels. Thursday, he showed little interest in instant messaging, but with a flip of a switch, and Friday he's obsessed with it. Baby's Gone. I guess the training wheels of life have been taken off. Now I should, with a sense of pride and a prayer for his guidance, lovingly watch as he peddles away. Can he stay on, will he know how to turn, does he understand braking, how will he take the spots with bumps and loose gravel? All are questions, worries, concerns. Baby's Gone. It's bittersweet. But there's no reason that I can't ride along side/with him. Okay, I need to stop this sappy stuff or I'm going to be a mess. I have tears, but I am happy, too. I can see how his acceptance of new responsibilities at school have matured him just over the past 9 weeks. I am very proud of him and think he has adapted to the changes in his life well, with some minor bumps(I know this is just the beginning, but I'm a sensitive new age guy). Holden has been thrown into a new school at a difficult age and has had to make new friends. He has had to adjust to a new schedule with more school and personal responsibilities. And with some hard work, he has all A's and one B(again this is just the beginning, I know,...I hope he does too). He is playing football, which is yet another step on his own. But, I can't really help him much there. I only played basketball. Holden's growing up, which is the only acceptable alternative. Baby's Gone,...so please watch him like a hawk, God.
2 comments:
Although I'm a few years behind you with Parks, I can completely relate to the sad little realizations that he is growing up and slowly leaving me. More and more he independently wants to go home with friends after school or spend the night at a friend's house. He even went away for a week to church youth camp this summer -- his first year to be old enough -- and we seemed to miss Parks more than he missed us. But then there are those signs that he's still just a boy, still deeply in need of his dear old Dad -- as I'm sure there are the occasional signs with Holden. Just last night, after LJ and Wren had turned in for the night, Parks and I caught the last ten minutes of "Air Force One" (the part where everyone jumps off the airplane just before it ditches into the ocean and breaks apart). I thought we were both enjoying some WAY COOL CGI action sequence, but after the movie was over, Parks says to me, "Dad, you know we're talking about going to New York or to Hawaii this summer. Well, I'm afraid of flying on an airplane," and suddenly he's overcome with tears. Of course, I immediately held him and consoled him and assured him that thousands of airplanes fly across the country every day and how RARE it is when one crashes, etc. etc. etc. Not really sure what all I said, but I know I was working desparately to cover all the bases. And it must of worked because as I tucked him into bed with his cat, Shi Chi, at his side, he looked at me and said, "Thanks, Dad." He's still my baby. And no matter how old they get to be, and how independent we think they've become, they will always be our baby boys.
i remember those days. they were so long ago. like maybe 3, or so.
rough times, but good times. just remember they get tougher. isn't that good to know?
give holden a high five for me.
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